I no longer write here, but you can come to Redeeming the Table, which is my new blog. I write on hospitality, storytelling & food. If you’ve subscribed to Evangitality via RSS or email, then come over & change it to Redeeming the Table.
Category Archives: Hospitality
I’ve Moved to Redeeming the Table Blog
You Say Goodbye & I Say Hello
It’s with immense joy that I get to say “Goodbye” to my beloved blog Evangitality. I’ve been evaluating my life a lot and I keep running into clutter. Whether it be my dresser top, my basement, my inbox…it’s always there. It feels like it’s symbolic of the times with two young children (the creators of constant clutter trails); yet, I cannot help but find myself looking for a place of semblance, a quiet place I call my own. Interesting isn’t it. I long for a place, or an environment I can control. Except, hospitality is anything but that. I guess that’s why it’s so hard to truly extend hospitality. Why so many of us want to give sacrificiously. To give with everything we have to make the world a better place. We want to give yet still control the world in which we live. Unfortunately, we can’t have both.
I am on a journey to embrace this constant loving & giving word…idea. It’s both noun & verb, they live side by side. We cannot simply talk about this great idea of how to extend hospitality and leave it as noun; rather, we must allow the action…the verb…to marry the noun. And that is where I’ve decided to say goodbye to Evangitality.
I’m not saying goodbye because I don’t want to embrace hospitality. I’m saying goodbye to bring more cohesion to the story. I feel my time at Evangitality has been fruitful and wonderful. I’m thankful to have a place to share my heart for loving others, sharing stories & yum food. But….
I’ve always been a bit annoyed with the name Evangitality. Whenever I see someone in public they can never pronounce the name. I’m big on correct pronunciation of words (and correct spelling), especially when the name is dear (as in someone’s first name, or something they love). I’m never annoyed with the people who cannot pronounce the word Evangitality; rather, I’m annoyed with myself that I made it so difficult.
I felt like the name Evangitality is so limiting to what I can write about (because I have more than recipes & hospitality brewing in my head & heart). I wanted to journey in a less cramped place (blog).
Another thing is I have a personal family blog that some of you don’t read. I write little updates about my family, share videos, photos and basically (let’s face it) give grandparents a dose of their grandchildren.
I wanted to combine my worlds into one space.
I brood over possible names, Genuine Hospitality, Radical Hospitality, but those too were a bit too confine. Then, I began thinking how I really love storytelling. You know, that oral tradition that has almost died in our culture, but it’s kept alive by a couple of embers in the pit. And not only do I love stories & storytelling, but I really like food. It’s something people associate with me. So call me crazy, but I thought I should incorporate that into the title.
I thought, Around the Fire sounded nice. You know, we cook around the fire, oral tradition of telling stories around the fire, we commune around the fire, etc. But, I wasn’t sold and when you type it in a search engine you get this weird movie that came out in the 90s, which I wouldn’t want my blog associated with.
My friend Hilary (who will be writing a guest post soon) suggested, Around the Table, recalling scenes from Moonstruck and the sacredness of the table. I liked it, but wasn’t completely sold. Then, I went back to look at my personal mission statement and there was one word that popped out to me. I adore this word. In fact, if Tayers had been a boy, her middle name would have been Ransom, which means Redemption. When I look over my story, I see God’s redeeming hand in it all. When I look at life, I’m always reminding of this word…Redemption/redeem/redeeming. That’s why I am so happy saying goodbye to Evangitality and saying HELLO to:
Join me in saying goodbye & saying hello. I am thankful for you readers who keep coming back and even more thankful for those of you who encourage me in writing & posting (you are a source of my joy).
In Like a Lion
Hopefully March will be out like a lamb. I’ve been bathing in 48 degree weather, which sounds terribly cold to this native Arizona, but the acclimated Washingtonian…it sounds incredible. I’ve been relishing in time with Ben, my girls, friends & a nice visit with my mom. Life is too short to feel tied to blogging (since I don’t do it for a living) or keep my incoming traffic here consistent. I would be defined as a failure in blogging terms (i.e. don’t allow days at a time without a post), which is bull if my aim in life were to live for the stats & being popular.
But I suspect that I, like you, have other things in life that need to be lived and if that means taking a break; well, then a break it is. I was recently on a date with Ben and he was talking about how much he needed to be surrounded by good music & books. Then, he went on to say, “life’s too short to read boring books.” Isn’t that true! In so many areas of our life, I feel like we could sub the “read…books” part and put something else in. It’s finding the areas that are enriching to our souls, mind & body. Life truly is too short to read boring books, to short to watch crap shows/movies, to short to fill my time with life outside of my own reality. Lent is this Wednesday, and again I’m reminded to quiet my soul & mind, in order for me to hear what is truly good. To fill my body & soul with good & lovely things. To know what life is worth living for (because it is shorter than I know). Wherever you are on life’s journey, I hope you are finding those still & quiet moments to fill it with the truly good things.
I have a big surprise coming in my next post, which might come out tomorrow or Tuesday. Stay tuned!
Final Thoughts on Mission Statements
In coming up with a mission statement, it’s good and easy to have one; yet, much more difficult to stick with it. In Part 1, “what makes you unique?,” we address & answer that first, most vital question. It’s the map that sets us on our journey. In Part 2, “what’s your rally cry, your top priority?,” we address & answer how to eliminate stress by focusing on one area (rally cry) in our lives we can work on (& achieve in 2-6 months), which will help us stick to our journey. Now, in Part 3, the final question remains.
Question #3: How do you talk about and use the answers to your questions?
It’s one thing to know what makes you unique. It’s also another to know one area to focus on to eliminate stress & lack of vision/focus. Yet, it’s another thing to know how you are going to accomplish it. We could write a grandiose mission statements filled with our core values & strategic values. We could have our rally cry that sings in unison with our soul & mind, creating a Zen-like space, free of clutter & distraction. Better yet, picture yourself 50 lbs overweight. You tell yourself, “I’m better than this. I deserve more for my life!” So, you go out and buy some exercise clothing, rid your house of the junk food and fill your fridge with clean, nutritious food. You tell yourself, “By the end of the year, I’m going to be one hot mama/dude!” You make the appointment with the gym and start your regime to better health. After your first workout you think, “this is hard, I don’t know if I can do this.” You look in your fridge and wonder, “salad with chicken doesn’t sound appetizing.” Your body says, “OH.MY.GOSH. I didn’t know there were muscles here,” you’re in pain. You go the next day to stick with the plan, because you remember your long-term goal. Yet, by the second week, you sleep in…missing the gym. You begin to buy a couple more food items away from what you intended. You find yourself paying for a gym membership that isn’t being used. Question 3 helps us continue going to the gym, eating healthily without letting the food rot and the exercise clothes sit clean in the drawer. Here’s how…
1. Find a time every week to evaluate.
Spend 10 minutes every week (preferably on the same day) going over your ‘rally cry’ and the defining objectives & standard objectives. Are you finding that your defining objectives might have been too vague (notice I redefined one of mine)? Or did you try to over achieve? Were the objectives too narrow that no one could fit through them? If so, you might need to tweak it a bit. If you find it hard doing this on your own, then maybe there is a trusted friend or spouse you could share your rally cry with and they can help you with accountability.
2. Keep it Visible
It’s one thing to have your mission statement, rally cry, & objectives written out. It’s another thing to have them in clear view to see everyday. Keep them posted for you to see and be reminded of who you are and where you are headed. Put them in a place you walk past every single day.
Kamille’s Scoreboard
1. What is my top priority right now?
My Rallying Cry: “Creating a gentle spirit that listens.”
Defining Objectives:
- Spend time in solitude every week (have scheduled internet times).
- Pray earnestly for the Spirit’s empowerment daily, begin with this each morning.
- Journal 3xs a week.
- Spend quality listening time with each family member everyday (start with five minutes).
Cultivate a heart that allows interruptions, mess…play with the girls, embracing this daily.- Update: Go to bed by 10:00, in order to have a well rested body & spirit.
Standard Objectives:
- Exercise & maintain health
- Marriage
- Home administration
- Girls & family fun (means our family of four)
- My Spiritual Life
2. What makes me unique?
I’ve been blessed with a sensitive spirit, which is moved into action by standing up for righteousness, especially for people. I value my relationship with Jesus and how he has imparted me with a storyteller’s heart and redeemed my story. Through this, I am called to encourage & empower my family & others to find their story and how to connect to others with it. I also value good, quality food and love creating nutritious & delicious food through cooking & baking. All of these have ignited a strong call to genuine hospitality within me.
3. How will I talk about and use the answers to this information?
I will spend time on Sunday afternoon evaluating how effective I have been in following the defining objectives. I will include Ben on this conversation for accountability. I will look over journal entries & track my sleep time as well for encouragement.
Where are you finding yourself among these questions? Where in your life is asking to be your rally cry? Which question seems the most discouraging or daunting? Add to the conversation to impart your unique perspective.
Part 1, 2, & 3 have been influenced & inspired by Patrick Lencioni’s book The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family. A Year Ago: Mascarpone Chocolate Cheesecake
A Mission Statement…Now What?
Can I just say that I feel very “legit” and “organizational” writing up posts like this one and How to Write a Personal Mission Statement? I’m a bit scared, not because it’s totally out of the ordinary, but how much I love this sort of thing and my nerdy side is coming out. You might also be thinking, “how does writing a personal mission statement have anything to do with Evangitality?” I would wage to say it has everything to do with it. Whether, you are a free-spirit individual embracing spontaneity & labeled with a “P” on Myers-Briggs; or, you like a bit more structure, and direction of where you are headed with a “J” on Myers-Briggs…all of us need to have some element of intentionality in life. We need to know what it is we value and who we are if we are going to show genuine love & hospitality to the many people we encounter.
So, maybe you finished your personal mission statement and are wondering what you do with it? Or you haven’t started and you don’t know if you ever will, because let’s face it, there is still that box of old stories on tape that you promised your husband you would go through to declutter and bring order to your life (oops, maybe that’s just me?). Either way, I believe having a mission statement is good for destination & keeping one on track. However, a mission statement alone doesn’t help us navigate through the journey to get to the final destination, which is what question 2 of the Big 3 Questions addresses…
1. What is your rally cry? What is your Top Priority?
It doesn’t take much to figure out your rally cry–really, it doesn’t. Make a list of a couple things that you see right here and now as a hindrance to get to your destination. It’s not a science. Overthinkers need not apply. Choose something that you can achieve within 2-6 months–that’s it. It your rally cry can be fixed in a week, don’t choose it. If it’s something that takes longer than 6 months…leave it alone. Pick one thing to rally around. Here was my list:
- Being gentle in my responses.
- Having an activity everyday for my girls.
- Do gross motor exercises with V everyday.
- Provide nutritious meals for my family.
- Provide spiritual growth opportunities for the girls.
- Develop storytelling curriculum.
As you can see, all of these happen to align with my personal mission statement. And any of them would be good to pick. I can stress (probably like others) about picking the best one, or wondering if I don’t pick the gross motor exercises for V then I’ll be throwing her further behind in her development. Or if I don’t pick spiritual growth, then my girls might become spiritually destitute (a little dramatic flare thrown in for good measure). But, when I boiled it down, I knew I wanted & needed a gentle spirit that listens above all else. My rally cry is:
“Creating a gentle spirit that listens.”
2. Create Defining Objectives
Once you have picked your rally cry that can be accomplished in 2-6 months, write up five defining objectives on how you will get there. These should be clear & concrete (and tangible). Granted, my rally cry of creating a gentle spirit that listens isn’t as tangible (or even as measurable) as #2: Providing activities for my girls everyday; however, I think my rally cry is more essential to the person I desire to become. Here are my Five Defining Objectives:
- Spend time in solitude every week (have scheduled internet times).
- Pray earnestly for the Spirit’s empowerment daily, begin with this each morning.
- Journal 3xs a week.
- Spend quality listening time with each family member everyday (start with five minutes).
Cultivate a heart that allows interruptions, mess…play with the girls, embracing this daily.- Update: Go to bed by 10:00, in order to have a well rested body & spirit.
Not easy, but doable. Notice that I didn’t say I would journal everyday, or spend an hour (or even 1/2 hour) with each family member, it’s about scaling it to what I can do and building upon it.
3. Create Standard Objectives
Standard Objectives are those areas in your life that always need to get done while you focus on your rally cry. Again, yours will look different from mine.
- Exercise & maintain health
- Marriage
- Home administration
- Girls & family fun (means our family of four)
- My Spiritual Life
Maybe after reading all of this you are feeling a bit overwhelmed? I hope you give yourself grace as you walk through these steps. Allow yourself the freedom to become intentional without legalism. Look at your present, forgive yourself from your past failures and walk in freedom with your future. When in doubt, watch What About Bob and begin chanting, “babysteps!”
A Year Ago: New Beginnings & Chockful Blondies and Homemade Graham Cracker SandwichesFinding Your Voice
There are those moments when I want to chase after my dream of performing vocally, buy a mandolin & join a band. They are fleeting, meaning they only last a couple days. But, I miss singing with other musicians. I miss finding my voice. My voice singing that perfect song lifting the melody up like a free flying bird in the blue sky. Or my voice slowly melting like butter against the tongue as it accentuates the melody with it’s dear old friend called harmony. It’s no wonder we chose the name Cadence for our youngest as she kicked twice as hard when I sang with the bass. It’s seeped in our veins. Every person, whether musician, vocalist, longs to find their voice.
Do you ever feel like your looking for your voice in all the wrong places? It’s easy to do in our day of instant messaging & communication. We forget how to find our original voice as it gets lost & muffled among so many others. I have found myself searching for my voice; whether it be in the musical sense or life sense. I wrote about something similar about comparison & living life looking through rose colored glasses. And although I’ve written about it before, I’m reminded time & again how vital it is as a person to find the voice I was given and embrace it.
But like the beauty of life, seasons change the elements. In this season of Advent & Christmas, I have purposed to not put any expectations of busyness on me or my family; while, I have purposed to say yes to rest & togetherness. Today I was encouraged & reminded of just this…resting in the mercies I’ve been given. Resting in the peaceful baby King born in a lonely stable. Resting in knowing I do not need to fill my week with buying more presents, baking new cookies, writing a Christmas letter, or staying stagnant in hopelessness. I’m filled with awe & wonder that this baby King has given me a voice of hope to sing.
And that’s why I haven’t been here lately. I’ve been resting from any expectation to blog, to do what I feel someone else expects of me, but to listen. This is critical in being hospitable, which the false hospitality world would make you think is anything but that. In order to love, make room for the stranger/guest, we need to listen to find our voice amidst all the other voices. We might need to take a backseat and say no. We need to be more like Mary who took the time to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen. We might need to neglect the duties, the expectations of tending or organizing all of life. I would love to hear where you are finding your voice these days? Where are you finding your voice being muted? Where are you finding it come to life?
Have a restful week and embrace the hope!
Coming Up This Week: Apricot Rosemary Bars…gluten-free, refined sugar-free and you wouldn’t even know it! Get ready by having the ingredients:
- blanched almond flour
- raw honey
- coconut oil
- butter
- pecans
- California dried apricots
- lemon
- fresh rosemary
A Year Ago: Grandma’s No Bakes, Orange Cardamom Cookies, & French Lentil Soup
Thankful with Sweet Potato Goodness (& so much more)
The words that penetrated my soul the most, “my sons were hungry and the only thing I could give them was water.” This was part of a guest speaker’s story. She was a small Honduran woman, measuring a mere 4 feet and 9 inches, but she made up for it with tremendous heart & conviction. Her name, Danubia Orellana Lopez, and she is apart of the Agros village of Brisas del Volcan.
Danubia was the speaker at the Agros International fundraiser dinner Ben and I attended at the end of October. It seemed fitting that we attended just days before we plunged into doing this 30 day challenge. Agros is an amazing organization, who seeks to empower people in Central America & Mexico through micro loans to purchase land. Many of these people, like Danubia, lived in the slums and had to wake up at 2:30 am to walk 2 hours to get to the farm (to which she & her husband worked for someone else), work an 18 hour day and only get paid $.40 a day. She recalls the times when payday arrived and the owner of the land wasn’t there to pay her & her husband. Those were the days when all she could offer her children was water to fill their bellies. She also recalled a time at the age of 14, when her mother only had 3 eggs to feed the 14 kids….I am truly blessed.
I can’t imagine that world. To feel absolutely defenseless and unable to give your children a basic necessity. Agros seeks to extend both physical means to these people who are willing to work REALLY hard to till their land; but, also give them emotional/spiritual means. They come in to teach the people how to cultivate the land, how to educate themselves, how to make financial deals, etc. What Agros does, is tell these people like Danubia, that if they are willing to want something more, then they can have it. More importantly, what Agros does & says to them, “You are worth it! You have value!”
Danubia spoke of telling her mother that she wanted to be a nurse when she grew up. Her mother said, “Danubia, people like us don’t dream, because our hearts just get broken.” After Agros came in to empower Danubia, her family & community, she and other women worked together to make the men realize that they are just as important & valuable as them. And you know what, after the women worked just as hard, the men realized that these women, their women, had dignity & value.
When I think about what Evangitality means–this is it. This is the global representation of it. It’s finding value, dignity & worth in each individual, because they are created in God’s image. It’s empowering them by giving them a hand up, and not a hand out. It’s not entitlement, because there are many people who choose to stay in slums so they can keep their TV or refrigerator. Instead, it’s for the people who want something more, who want to dream. Life without dreams isn’t a life worth living, and Danubia knew this.
Walking back to the hotel that night, I told Ben, “You know, the poor in America aren’t that poor. They still get assistance. They’re not putting their children to bed without food.” It has made me more thankful than ever. And that’s why I give thanks before my meals. I thank God that I have more than enough to fill my family’s bellies. So when I’ve been cranky during this 3o day challenge, or hear people whining about, “Oh, I ONLY get meat, vegetables, limited fruit & nuts, and eggs,” I’m reminded of Danubia’s words, “my sons were hungry and the only thing I could give them was water.” Oh how I have nothing to complain about, and everything to give thanks about.
I’m thankful for simple meals too. So simple it seems almost too good to be true.
A Year Ago: Brown Sugar Cupcakes with Sea Salted Caramel Frosting & Oatmeal Carmelitas
Cinnamon Sweet Potato Goodness (printable recipe)
This is for one sweet potato, but you could easily increase the amount and play with the ingredients. If you’re not a cinnamon fan, sub some nutmeg (but go easy on it) or add some smoked paprika.
Ingredients:
1 sweet potato
1 tsp coconut oil
dash sea salt
2 Tb pecans
sprinkle cinnamon
Directions: Bake a sweet potato on 350 for 30 minutes or so (check a source, I’m that person who pops it in and doesn’t worry about it). Do this the day before if you’re having it for breakfast. Remove the skin and cut up the sweet potato into chunks.
Heat up coconut oil in a skillet on medium heat. Add the sweet potato & salt. Stir around letting it get a bit golden, about 3 minutes. Add some chopped pecans & a sprinkling of cinnamon. Cook for an additional 1 minute or so. Serve and enjoy!
Telling Your Story
What’s that saying, “to those who have been given much, much is expected?” Or something along those lines. Story is the same way. If I can substitute it, “to those who have been given a story…then share it.” When I was pregnant with my oldest, I began to bleed while she was 7 weeks in the womb. Ben was out of town and I was a mess. My most wonderful boss & friend, Carol, and her husband John were persistent on having me stay the night at their house to ease my mind & heart. It was just before that time, I began asking God what we should name our child. My worries were eased as I heard “joy amidst the trial” (to which we did receive joy 8 months later) and knew this child would bring joy.
We ended up having a list of 10 boy names & 10 girl names, which we decided we would narrow down for a first & middle. Each name having a good, solid meaning. At the time of my pregnancy (and prior), I was known by many of the children at Hillcrest Kids Early Learning as the storyteller. I had the privilege of telling them God’s story everyday in the summer–what a treat. So, while Ben and I were looking at our top 10 girl’s list, we had decided upon ‘Veronica,’ meaning true image of Christ. We began looking at the list for middle names; but, I went against the “rule” and chose a name not on the list. I suggested ‘Storey.’ Ben wasn’t sold at first.
Storey means “strong & powerful.” Such a vivid & beautiful depiction of the word. I told him that if this was a girl inside, then she’s apart of God’s story, which is strong & powerful. Yet, she would have her own story to tell and encourage others in; as well as, help others find their story. It was about two weeks later that Ben & I were walking home from an evening church service where he said, “You know, I’ve decided I like the name Storey for a middle name; because, this child will be apart of God’s story and it’s like we’re saying in giving her this name–’here’s your story and be sure to help others find theirs too–to find their story intermingled with God’s story.’” I turned and smiled. He must have forgotten that I said about the same thing.
What about your Story:
Some of us have wretched stories, fantastic stories, dark stories and redeemed stories. But whatever story you have, it’s yours and it was given to you for a purpose. Part of my story includes family dysfunction, brokenness and a bit more hardship than others. But the exciting notion is that it’s mine, and I get to choose what I do with it. Some choose to continue living a wretched, dark story, while others choose to embrace a redemption lost story. Mine, well, I’m constantly choosing to see the bad for what it’s worth and allow Jesus to come into the dark parts. Because who wants to listen to a story without hope? I’m thankful for how hard life has been in my formative years, because it wouldn’t have made me who I am now.
Tonight I get to share a little snippet of my story with people in my church family, which I hope to share a bit later with you. What I do know is your past is history, your future is mysterious and your present is worth living & telling about now. I want to leave you with a comment I received in the summer from Ashley, who tells a bit of her story. How her story formed in her a heart of hospitality & a life of evangitality:
1. I think my heart for hospitality began to grow at a very young age. Hospitality is a strong characteristic of my mother. And I always remember having people over or bringing food/hospitality to people. I LOVED to help my mom with cooking, baking, making cards and other trinkets, whatever it may be. When I was in middle school however, my dad left our family and not only that, but left us in a great deal of poverty. Suddenly, the roles were reversed. Where we were once the ones who were able to bless, we were in great need of support to make it through the day. I don’t know that there is any one specific example that I can point out from this time, but I do remember day after day feeling overwhelmingly blessed and grateful for the hospitality of others. Meals, bags of groceries, gift certificates to still do things as a family, people who fixed our car, helped mow the lawn, etc. And it wasn’t just for a while, it went on throughout the years, beyond what we ever could have fathomed – the Lord was gracious and looking out for us through the expression of hospitality from others. Although this time was a painful road for all of us, I still am able to look back on the last of my growing up years with joy in God’s faithfulness brought to us by hospitality. These years of hospitality have only enriched my heart and desire to serve and bring God’s joy and faithfulness to others as well.
















